How to pick fights and how to find peace
The week before Christmas, family is gathering and isn't there at least one person in the family getting on your nerves? Old childhood patterns flaring up, that one person making that one statement about your person you completely disagree with. Your battle with the feeling of being labelled, judged, not fitting in, the confusing sensation of wanting to rebel versus wanting to please... My family is on the opposite side of the world. This doesn't mean that we can't fight. I learned that this week. You can have superb arguments via Facebook Messenger! It was a new experience. I did not feel like being the wise and understanding me and left a Facebook group created by my sister. This created all sorts of ruckus with messages flying back and forth across the globe between all us sisters and separately from one to one. All through this process it felt liberating to have my say without fearing to hurt. I love my sisters so much, in the presence of anger there also was the presence of trust. Trust that she could deal with my words, my stance, my view. Trust that even if she is upset now, with time she would come to a place where she can accept. After a day of "Iphone arguing", I took a look at myself, at the whole story around it and decided to call truce. "It's 1-1, we both hurt one another and neither meant to, so I say I'm sorry", I wrote. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I hurt you because I was hurting and it's not your fault, the pain is mine. I love you." In the end all the hurt we feel is inflicted by someone else is our own. We can get hurt by a joke or a remark meant with no harm. The hurt stems from our own insecurity, not from the person's words. About 1-2 hours after calling truce with my sister (who was about to go to bed) my day started with a life shifting workshop in the studio. Life shifting in the sense that during one part of the workshop, I learned that peace comes from the knowledge that you are loved for who you are, not for what you do. Yes. There is basically no way you can mess this life up. Even if you end up on drugs and live in crime, you are still loved purely for the fact that you have a beating heart and breathing lungs! You are human, you have life= YOU ARE LOVED.
Most of us have been ingrained with the view that there will be a judging God looking down on us after finishing up our lives and then you are labelled either a good person or a bad one. Believe whatever you want, I choose to believe that God is love. And in the presence of love there is no judgment.
The actions and the choices we make in life are for us. Choosing to care and show compassion ripples out to the people around you and ripples back to you. There is no right or wrong, there purely is the basic law of cause and effect. The physical law that every action has an equal but opposite reaction, translates into our energy we put into everything and anything. So if you pick a fight with your sister, she will fight back...
Let's say you still choose to act out of fear rather than out of love, let's say you attract drama and shortage of money into your life. Well. You are still loved. You might not feel it, because things feel so unfair to you. You may not be able to see how you have caused unwanted events.
Here is the interesting thing, though: Once you open up to see these events as lessons and ask yourself what you can learn, you become empowered. You learn to take charge of your choices. You learn that everything starts in your head. And you are in charge of it! Your mistakes become lessons for yourself and others, and your achievements become events that you and others can enjoy. Done. You basically cannot mess this life up. Remember that shit is the soil in which beautiful flowers grow. Enjoy the journey.
Merry Christmas, big Ohms and Namaste.