One of my favourite teachers, Brene Brown writes in her book "Daring Greatly" how we live in a Not Enough Society. We are bombarded by media telling us that we need a bigger car, a better house, more money, and fitter body and the list goes on. For me, learning this was a big eye opener and changed my life.
Today was another one of those moments for me. I've been dealing with tradies and lawyers for the past few weeks on a daily basis. I have felt at a loss for vocabulary when asking for tools. "Do you have one of those tweezy thingies?" and then waving my hands vigorously has been the usual way I fight my way across the language of trades. And then there are the solicitor's and certification guys. Their language is founded in the ancient greek and latin roots with a twist of boring. They speak and their words go in one ear and seem to come out the other while I smile and nod, until there is an awkward silence and I realise that I was expected to respond to something they said. "This is not the time to think of a play list for Raw Dance, Mia!", I argue with myself.
When starting the project of opening up a Yoga Studio for Forster, I vowed to myself and my higher power to do it with joy. This week the joy has been absent and replaced with.... what? I took a breath, steered my mind away from the long to do list and the "what ifs" and asked myself what I needed to feel joy: "The Beach". Yes.
I took some time out, took the dog to One Mile, and started doing some sun salutations on top of the sand dune. Breath. The stretching sensation of the hip flexor when stepping into a lunge, breath, soften the area between my eye brows, then there it was: While breathing the insight dropped down on me: "I'm not worthy of doing this! I'm afraid I'm not good enough! There is a part of me that wants to fail because I'm afraid of being worthy" . And in the next breath within a millisecond: "If not me then who, if not now then when, I'm just as good as everyone, I'm just here to serve." I breathe out and surrender. Once again. Lightness enters back into my soul, gratitude makes tears well up in my eyes. There are a million questions unanswered, a thousand problems unsolved, and I choose to believe. If the earth was made this beautiful like the beach and the ocean, then life energy is looking out for you. Universe has my back. And that is what I choose to focus on. I am enough. And what I don't know, I can learn, what I can't do myself, I can receive help. I am enough. And so are you, whatever your challenges are right now.
Sending you all bucket loads of love and light! Thank you for this space. XXX